I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
