i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
