is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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