Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
