you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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