don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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