on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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