Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
NoShamevember. You game?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
