her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
