And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
