K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
