they need to just BURY HIM!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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