Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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