When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
