there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Enjoy the penises
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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