Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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