Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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