No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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