My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
