Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
