I am spending my child support on dildos
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
