are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm really busy with my period
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