He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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