Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
