I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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