i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
