After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
