we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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