lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
