And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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