Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
