It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
