he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
