Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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