Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
