where am i from again
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
being pregnant is like rehab
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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