Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
