That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
