i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
