Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
