You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
