Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
