I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
