grandma shit on top of the toilet
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
