two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
