Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
