I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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