you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
