your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
