She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she peed on how many people?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
