Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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