Where are you?
In a non slutty way
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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