Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
