hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
