what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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